It isn’t easy when you hit a crossroads in life. Life has been put on hold for a lot of us recently, forcing us to reevaluate our choices. Whether you’ve previously worked in the tourism industry, hospitality or one of the 9-5 office jobs, chances are you’ve experienced life in the hamster wheel. For many of us, we haven’t had the chance to even think about certain aspects of our lives until now. If you’ve been furloughed, made redundant, or whether you’re one of the lucky ones who is having to choose between two jobs, knowing what to do at the crossroads can be seriously daunting.
When we hit a crossroads in life, we have two options.
Option 1: Stalemate
You’re not in check, but you can’t make a move. Your heels are placed firmly in the ground, except you’re not grounded. Quite the opposite! You’re unbalanced. You feel like the underdog in life. You’re scared to take a step in any direction, for fear of making the wrong choice. It feels safe to stay where you are. You might not realise it, but you’re strangely comfortable where you are. It’s easier to sit with the familiar than take a blind leap into the unknown. This is a dangerous place, as you’re not in alignment with yourself and you’re unlikely to manifest positive things in this place. You start to believe you’re unlucky in life. Bad things keep happening and these things are beyond your control.
You sit on it for so long that sometimes the decision is made for you, by something or someone else. Either that or you wait until the last minute, when you have to make the choice. If things don’t go well, you obsess about the mistake you’ve made, wondering why on earth you chose this path.
You become blind, stuck and you start to give up. You envision your life and how it would be if only you’d taken that other path. You’re trying to move backwards instead of taking on new opportunities. Like a magnet, your energy is drawing in more of what you are putting out. You can’t see, and you truly believe you’re unlucky in life and this is why you can’t embrace a new beginning.
The worst part of the crossroads is that we feel lost: we don’t know which path we’re supposed to take. We feel as if we should know which way to go. We choose a direction, and incessantly think about what would have happened on that other path.
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us”. – Helen Keller
Option 2: Rise to the Challenge
You can choose logic, or you can choose to follow your intuition. When you’ve reached the stage where you’re writing a list of pros and cons, that’s when you’re looking at logic. Intuition is that impulsive, ‘gut feeling’ you have about something. It can be really difficult to know which of these to go with, but it’s always important to be in the present moment when you make your decision.
Meditating on something is an excellent way to calm your mind, process your thoughts and see things more clearly. Remember, this is YOUR decision, so you need to spend time with yourself and allow all of your thoughts and feelings to come to the surface and be processed. Check out this post to discover ways that meditation can change your life and help you to make balanced decisions.
Choose your path and go at it with full force. Don’t look back, and don’t look too far forward.
Of course it’s vital to learn from our past experiences, which will require some contemplation on past actions. It is equally helpful to look forward to our goals, to give us direction and sense of purpose. Listen to what your heart wants and make steps towards that goal, but be careful not to get stuck in the past or the future. Look at the here and now.
Sometimes we can get so lost in the past or the future that we forget what life is really about: being in the present moment. The past is a memory; the future is a vision that has not yet come to pass. The reality is the here and now, and that is where we need to be if we want to live a happy life. But there is so much emphasis given to that end result. We think that when we achieve it, only then will we have found our happiness. What we forget is that the journey should be even more rewarding. So instead of beating ourselves up because we haven’t crossed the finish line, instead just focus on the journey. Only through experiencing the present moment can we truly live.
The only time we’re able to grow is when we choose to face a challenge. Make your choice and go with it. See where it takes you and don’t look back. When you focus your energy on looking back, that’s when you miss opportunities. If things don’t go to plan, there’s no sense in living in regret about what could have been. What can seem like a mistake right now may be a blessing in disguise.
The truth is that the butterfly effect exists no matter which path you choose. Seemingly insignificant things can change the course of everything. Think about it. Think about a person that has changed your life. This can be someone in your life now or someone from your past. Think about how you met them. Did you meet them through a friend? How did you become friends with that friend? Did you meet them one particular day when you followed your intuition and lived in the moment instead of sitting in stalemate?
There are people in our present or past lives who have shaped things immensely. When you think back to one tiny, seemingly insignificant decision you made one day, which had a ripple effect that eventually led you to them, sometimes months down the line, through a web of people and experiences. It really does make you ponder, and you think to yourself, sometimes there’s something bigger at play. Something we can’t see, but we can feel it if we’re open to it.
“Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.” – Joseph Campbell
If you’re supposed to be in a certain place, you’ll find your way. You might take a detour, but the road ahead will eventually meander its way to where you need to be. The truth is, you have no idea where that other path would have taken you. I bet it wouldn’t be where you imagine it to be. Maybe you would have hit an even tougher set of crossroads. So before you let your past decisions get you down, remember you don’t know where this path is leading you.
When you hit a crossroads in life, the important thing is to keep on the road and don’t sit too long in stalemate. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’ve lost your way; sometimes you’ll make a ‘mistake’. It’s tough choosing what to do when we hit a crossroads in life, but the truth is there are no mistakes when it comes to your own path.
Whatever you believe in: free will, fate, God, just know that you will find your way. Whether or not you believe things happen for a reason, ground yourself and trust that right now, you are where you’re meant to be.
